Top Ten Signs You’re a Fundamentalist Christian

This post originally appeared at craigslist.

10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!

6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

Frank Schaeffer: How to Stop Being a Fundamentalist Evangelical Christian

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  1. Take away the tax free status …… then watch religion die its natural death as it should ………………..


    If I walked around telling people that I lived my life based on the invisible blue possum that sits on my shoulder, that whispers in my ear, I would be locked up in a loony bin. Yet people go to church every Sunday under the exact same circumstance, and nobody locks these morons up?

    What the hell?

  2. The worst one is no 4 about nearly everyone (all those who don't share the fundamentalist Christian's beliefs) go to hell which is wrong!

  3. Every one is entitled to believe what they want to believe. If that is truth to you so be it! Everyone believes different and we should respect others beliefs what ever they are!!!! I am a Christian and I choose my beliefs and you may not be. Its okay you be you and let me be me!! Lets work together and better our planet that is what we should do. Lets not discuss our differences but lets come together on what really matters in our society, there are so many needs like, hunger, human trafficking, child abuse, creating a new world where our children can live and have rights to choose what religion they want and a have a safe world that is most important!

    • I disagree that “we should respect others beliefs no matter what they are”. I do not respect the beliefs of racists, murderers and alt-right conservatives. Some beliefs are abhorrent and should be identified as such.

    • It is WRONG to respect beliefs; it is proper to respect a person’s right to their beliefs. Evangelicals fail at this when they tell the rest of us that their way is THE way to live. Live your beliefs, and let others do the same. When no one is harmed by it, we have reached equality.

    • Believe whatever you want to believe but DON’T MAKE IT OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT POLICY! Don’t use your “holy” book to justify atrocities while you wait to be raptured.

    • Maria Lopez this article was about the lunatic fringe of Christians, not Christianity per se. Most Christians do not fit into the criteria of this article and probably find it amusing.

  4. Beliefs and facts are important. When the line between them is blurred, problems arise. Facts require evidence and a process to establish them. Beliefs often fill the void when facts are absent but this does not have to be the case. We don’t have facts about what, if anything, happens after we die. Beliefs fill this void. But many are okay with saying ‘we don’t know’ and leaving it right there. Pretending that beliefs are facts can be damaging the the individual and society, when done on a large scale.

  5. Sigh. What did the church or people who claim to follow Jesus, do to you?

    This is in philosophy is called a straw-man argument. There are old-earth Christians, non-Charismatic Christians and many Christians who study science and philosophy. Read people like William Lane Craig, Sean McDowell or Greg Koukl before making such assertions about Christianity. And oh, all those awful things that the Old Testament God did? Yes, they are awful but whose standards are using to judge God? Where do you get this moral standard from?

    • No, it’s not a strawman. It’s an accurate description of a significant percentage of christians. That it does not apply to ALL is irrelevant.

      And your implication of “who are we to question god?” is ridiculous. Prove your god exists, and we will acknowledge it. And when IT proves itself worthy of worship, we’ll THINK about it.

    • what did the church do? Crusades, oppression, murder, inquisitions, 2000 years of keeping people ignorant, of murdering anyone that didn't comply with their beliefs, calling for the jailing of anyone who was different, LGBTQ, even having red hair was considered a mark of the devil. Burning women alive at the stake for daring to question a man or have independent thoughts. Don't ask what the church did, the church has committed evil acts for millenia in the name of a man who preached, peace, love and tolerance.

  6. Believe whatever you want to believe but DON’T MAKE IT OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT POLICY! Don’t use your “holy” book to justify atrocities while you wait to be raptured.

  7. Probably one of my biggest issues with fundamentalist "christianists" is their need to force their views on others. They demand that the government espouse their religion(i.e. a nativity scene on a courthouse lawn) and scream oppression when businesses don't say merry christmas. Then because their aren't enough rules in the babble, they make up more, like opposing contraception and abortion when the bible doesn't mention either of these things. In fact if you accept the fact that the bible was written or inspired by gawd, then not only did he support abortion, he gave instructions on how to perform it(Numbers 5: 16-28). Like others have said here, religion is nothing more than a mythology, created(usually by a patriarchy), to control the people in general and women in particular. If you look at the books chosen to occupy the babble we know today, they were not chosen due to some sense of historical accuracy, but instead the council of nicea(all men) chose them in order to force controls on people in general and women in particular. Books that spoke of free choice, and equality were intentionally excluded. So before you go saying your religion is right and all the others are wrong, do some research, look beyond the book at scholars on both sides of the issues and use that thing between your ears that god supposedly gave you.


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