Healthy Christian Values: How To Punish A Wife For Not Pleasing Her Husband

By Christopher Blair | 30 May 2015
If You Only News

“How should you as a husband handle it when your wife directly refuses to have sex without a valid reason? Is there anything a Christian husband can do about this?”

When you come across an article with an opening like that you just know you’re in for a wild ride through Crazytown. The article, “Eight Steps To Confront Your Wife’s Sexual Refusal” is a self-help guide for the Christian man to confront his wife’s refusal to have sex.

The Bible apparently doesn’t allow women to refuse their husbands when they’re frisky. The author isn’t concerned with the occasional “I have a headache,” his laser-focused wisdom is aimed at those women who have a history of not living up to the standards of sex set forth in the Bible:

Christian Husbands – let me be crystal clear here. The situation I am addressing in this post is not your wife occasionally turning you down for sex (even with a bad attitude, as opposed to for health or other legitimate reasons). What I am addressing here is the wife who consistently and routinely denies her husband sexually simply because she does not need sex as much or she thinks she should not have to do it except when she is in the mood or she thinks her husband should have to earn sex with her by “putting her in the mood” by doing various things she expects or likes.

A woman should, regardless of her attitude, simply submit, without asking for any kind of pleasure in return, because sex is her biblical duty? Well gee wilikers, sign me up! Boy oh boy does that sound like fun. Yeah, that’s sarcasm. Women have wants and needs just like men, and demanding they put those aside and turn themselves into a human penis receptacle isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

But I digress.

Part of a series that should be titled “Misogyny Unlimited: Christian Extremists Are As*holes,” this article accompanies other such classics as “Christian Husbands – You Don’t Pay For The Milk When You Own The Cow” and “Is A Husband Selfish For Having Sex With His Wife When She’s Not In The Mood?”

You can’t make this stuff up; it isn’t satire. Sadly.

The eight steps are built around a simple biblical philosophy:

A wife cannot flatly refuse her husband, she may only ask for a delay (a raincheck) and then she needs to make good on that raincheck as soon as possible.

A husband has the right to confront his wife’s sexual refusal as a sin not only against him, but also against God.

Is the excitement building yet? If you’re trapped in a loveless Christian marriage with no way out that doesn’t include a trip to eternal damnation via divorce, this is your lucky day. You too can turn that unhappy woman into an unhappy blow-up doll.

Eight steps to confronting your wife’s sexual refusal.

Step 1 – Rebuke her privately.
Bad wife. Do as you’re told.

Step 2 – Rebuke her before witnesses.
Is she not shamed enough to put out yet? A Christian marriage counselor can help you shame her further.

Step 3 – Bring her before the Church.
Still not giving it up? There’s nothing like a good public shaming to bring the romance back into your marriage.

Step 4 – Stop taking her on dates or trips.
When shaming doesn’t work, treat her like a child who hasn’t done her homework.

Step 5 – No unnecessary household upgrades.
Does she want a fancy new ironing board or one of those new-fangled dishwasher thingys? Just say no. Since you obviously control the money in your home because women are worthless and can’t possibly earn their own, show her that the lavish life you provide can be taken away if she doesn’t comply.

Step 6 – Stop doing the little extra things

You know those dinners you cook, or that vacuuming you do, or those things that really she should be doing for herself, but you have simply been trying to be nice and doing for her – STOP doing them. Stop giving her those nice back and shoulder massages she loves so much.

“Those things she should be doing for herself.” Yup. That. Just. Happened.

Step 7 – Remove her funding
The author suggests changing the PIN on her ATM card and canceling her AMEX. Amazingly, he does concede that she may have a job!

If she does have a job, stop paying for anything in her name and make her pay for any credit that is in her name. The Bible only requires that you provide her with food, clothing and shelter. It does not say that food and clothing has to be the fancy kind she likes to get.

Clearly any job she has wouldn’t provide enough money to pay a bill or buy anything nice.

What if none of these 7 steps work?

“You have the option to divorce her for sexual immorality.”

That’s step eight. You want your woman to be submissive and give you what you want, when you want it, and if she won’t, she’s sexually immoral.

SHE is sexually immoral.

I have news for you big guy: If you’ve gone to this length to humiliate your wife, making demands and treating her like a slave, you can rest assured she’s getting some somewhere, and divorce papers have already been drawn up. Since you’ve been providing for her all this time, enjoy the alimony payments.

Megachurch Pastor Compares Impure Women Who Have Sex Before Marriage To ‘Filthy Dishrags’

Pat Robertson: Single mother is ‘tempting God’ by not getting married

Faith healer Andrew Wommack: Women have miscarriages because they don’t obey God

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  1. This is basically marital rape. Yes, it can happen, and yes, having sexual relations with someone who doesn't want it is rape, regardless of whether or not you're married.

    • My husband left me for a whole month and I had to go to Michigan from Indiana with the little money that I had left. Ever since then I’ve been in charge of what he wears, eats, etc.

  2. Ya just gotta love the bible and all of those bible thumpers. What a bunch of crap. Religion in all forms is the biggest bunch of crap and the biggest scam ever perpetrated on the human race. All religions should be banned.

    • How can you say something is a bunch of crap when what your replying to is literally a bunch of crap? So let’s say the Bible isn’t true ok but nothing in this article is taken from the Bible. So this article is mis representing and flat out lying. Why even if you take a stand against the Bible which I would assume you’ve read to say it’s crap, not first take issue with the fact that the article it’s self is a bunch of crap. Man this is what spurred me to believe in Christ as a child that the Bible bashers and God haters were usually lying, I couldn’t find any of their claims in church or in the Bible. So how could a liar be creditable I’m saying religion is bs … it’s sad to see such low mental function think so high of itself. Again the Bible doesn’t need my defense what I’m standing against are liars.

  3. This articles is ridiculous. These are not the principles of the Bible. I do not see any chapter or verses quoted or attempted to be explained. If a woman doesn’t want to have sex it’s because she not feeling loved by her husband. There are some issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. Ephesians 5:25
    Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

    Forced sex is called rape whether your married or not.

    • It is not. Women are likened to bondslaves in the church epistles–especially Ephesians. If you know anything about the culture, men could buy or work their way out of servitude–women couldn’t.

    • I agree about marital raping. That’s one reason why I filed for divorce back in 1999. I just had an emergency c section and my first husband couldn’t wait for me to heal up from the surgery. I had the surgery done 3 days before and I was bleeding really bad. He raped me when I was sleeping. He found me on the chair sleeping the next morning and that’s when he realized what he had done to me. My first marriage was a sham and mistake anyway.

  4. First thing first. Have the author of this website read the bible………………………NO……….
    Many people believe in different thing and have their point of view just because one man is mean doesn't mean that every man is mean. If you want to write about the bible then you should go read the bible not those shit in the internet. I am a Christian and my husband don't force me to have sex with him if i don't want to so just because you hate religion or Christians that doesn't not give you the right to talk sh-ts about us.

    • Mouth breather:
      Find some resources in the internet on grammar and punctuation. Then, read the article this author is commenting on. Come back after you’ve taken the time to understand the subject at hand.

  5. This article says the man can divorce his wife for sexual immorality, which means he can divorce her if she commits adultery. He cannot divorce her just because she doesn't have sexual relations with him according to the Bible, although he might be able to do so according to state civil law.

  6. This makes me very happy that I am not Christian. This is so absolutely pathetic. Isn’t it just as sexually immoral to force the person you married and vowed to love and protect into having sex?

    I am sorry but if you take your sexual relationship before the church and publically shame her you are making yourself look like a fool. Ok so this just ticks me off. A married is a partnership not master slave. One person is no more important than the other. One is not more entitled than the other. What would this say if the husband was the one not performing his husbandly duties and not giving his wife the sex she wants. I hate to tell you but it happens. Yes some women actually like sex as much as men.

  7. This article is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself. You do not represent Jesus in any form, and are a complete disgrace to the representation of Christianity. You are twisting the word and infiltrating the minds of men with your evil, manipulative, horrendous philosophy that is based on satan's perspective, not God's. You are a disappointment to the Father and he will judge you accordingly.

    • Clearly you did not actually read the article. This isn't a broad critique of Christianity in general, but a discussion of how a particular fringe of Christianity treats people within itself.

      The article does not claim to know scripture, but (alas, correctly) points out how some people twist the ideas and ideals of scripture to control other people. This has been done for centuries by a lot of people.

      I happen to feel that the web pages that this article discusses are exactly what you said: disgraces to Christianity. The article itself, though, which only points out those pages and gives an opinion about what they say, seems quite reasonable in its outrage over what others have said is the "correct" way to treat women.

  8. Did everyone forget the “husband most love his wife like himself part of the Bible, if you want her to submit” or was it in only my Bible. FYI Christianity and the Bible supports women right more than any other religion (Numbers 27:1-8, the whole story of Esther, 1Corinthians 7) you guys just pick a verse and make a case out of it I’m sure if we read the rest of that chapter (which you didn’t mention) there will be a lot of contradiction. If you want to be an atheist BE AN ATHEIST, leave Christians alone

  9. I believe in the context of this article and submitting to every need of my husband. I think that is the downfall of our family and I will continue to obey my husband. I can tell you that my husband is always happy and therefore, my household is happy too.

  10. I’m not going to let my husband or any make me into a submissive woman or wife. I don’t believe in women being rated a second class citizen, treated like slaves, maid servants, whipping girls/ women, etc. I’m very serious about that. Men have treated women and girls like crap for over 2,000 years and I’m about to go off on most of the men that have done and said all the wrong things to me including my birth dad and brother.


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